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Thread: Psychological damage of abuse to a child

  1. #1 Psychological damage of abuse to a child 
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    One may think that a child will forget about the abuse through the years that happened behind closed doors when they were young. Think again. It lives with them forever. I know my kids are grown now and they have issues of trust and do not know how to show affection. Saying simple words like I love you is hard for them. Abuse even if it did not happen to them but they witnessed it between their parents will effect them the rest of their lives. Yes their dad was abusive towards me and they will pay for that for the rest of their lives. Some may ask why I stayed for so long. He threatened me if I didnt stay that I would never see my kids again. I thought at the time I was protecting my children. Now that they are grown I feel like I let them down.


    The Effects of Domestic Violence
    on Children

    In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are at high risk for suffering physical abuse themselves. Regardless of whether children are physically abused, the emotional effects of witnessing domestic violence are very similar to the psychological trauma of being a victim of child abuse.
    • Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may "indirectly" receive injuries. They may be hurt when household items are thrown or weapons are used. Infants may be injured if being held by the mother when the batterer strikes out.
    • Older children may be hurt while trying to protect their mother.
    • Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may experience cognitive or language problems, developmental delay, stress-related physical ailments (such as headaches, ulcers, and rashes), and hearing and speech problems.
    • Many children in homes where domestic violence occurs have difficulties in school, including problems with concentration, poor academic performance, difficulty with peer interactions, and more absences from school.
    • Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. There is no evidence, however, that girls who witness their mothers' abuse have a higher risk of being battered as adults.
    • Taking responsibility for the abuse.
    • Constant anxiety (that another beating will occur) and stress-related disorders.
    • Guilt for not being able to stop the abuse or for loving the abuser.
    • Fear of abandonment.
    • Social isolation and difficulty interacting with peers and adults.
    • Low self-esteem.
    • Younger children do not understand the meaning of the abuse they observe and tend to believe that they “must have done something wrong.” Self-blame can precipitate feelings of guilt, worry, and anxiety.
    • Children may become withdrawn, non-verbal, and exhibit regressed behaviors such as clinging and whining. Eating and sleeping difficulty, concentration problems, generalized anxiety, and physical complaints (such as headaches) are all common.
    • Unlike younger children, the pre-adolescent child typically has greater ability to externalize negative emotions. In addition to symptoms commonly seen with childhood anxiety (such as sleep problems, eating disturbance, nightmares), victims in this age group may show a loss of interest in social activities, low self-concept, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, rebelliousness and oppositional-defiant behavior in the school setting. It is also common to observe temper tantrums, irritability, frequent fighting at school or between siblings, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively, threatening of peers or siblings with violence, and attempts to gain attention through hitting, kicking, or choking peers and/or family members. Girls are more likely to exhibit withdrawal and run the risk of being “missed” as a child in need of support.
    • Adolescents are at risk of academic failure, school drop-out, delinquency, substance abuse, and difficulties in their own relationships.
    Source

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  2. #2 Re: Psychological damage of abuse to a child 
    Local Legend Raven's Avatar
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    Sometimes it's not all black and white either. It can come out in many different forms. It can be verbal and or mental. It doesn't have to be physical but it is still abuse. This behavior causes mental scars. I think many women rationalize staying for many different reasons. I don't think all women realize how it affects their children when it isn't directed at the children. One of my friends told me that their parents argued a lot and it was a huge relief when they split.

    The laws are messed up too. I know in NYS that someone can legally bust up everything in their home and they are not breaking any laws. WHAT?!?!? If they don't lay a hand on their spouse, what they are doing is perfectly legal.

    I find this to definitely be a pattern in families. The families that are used to this type of behavior act like it is practically acceptable and there is not much wrong with it and the cycle continues. They condone it by reacting to it passively or mentioning that it could be worse.

    If you are reading this and feel that this could be you, it probably is. Find someone you can trust to talk to, gather your inner strength, and get out.

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  3. #3 Re: Psychological damage of abuse to a child 
    YOUR face!! THERESA's Avatar
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    Good post. Even if only one woman reads this thread and gets the courage to change her situation, you have done a good deed.

    I know you are really into the pay it forward thing. I sincerely hope that you are also on the receiving end of it because you try to help so many people. You certainly are a walking encyclopedia and google search engine all rolled into one. Your vast amount of knowledge is admirable.

    ~THERESA~Can I get a hero shake with that, or are you all out?


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  4. #4 Re: Psychological damage of abuse to a child 
    Local Legend Raven's Avatar
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    I don't recieve alot. Well basically I do when I see a kid that is clothed in clothes that I provided when they had nothing at all. I have a addiction for research. I love being a human search engine. I got that name from a college student. She was a mother and homeschooled her kids, working and really busy. I would research her papers and then give her the links, all she had to do is write the papers. I kept her on a 4.0 grade average. So human search engine at your service.

    Quote Originally Posted by THERESA View Post
    Good post. Even if only one woman reads this thread and gets the courage to change her situation, you have done a good deed.

    I know you are really into the pay it forward thing. I sincerely hope that you are also on the receiving end of it because you try to help so many people. You certainly are a walking encyclopedia and google search engine all rolled into one. Your vast amount of knowledge is admirable.

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  5. #5 Re: Psychological damage of abuse to a child 
    YOUR face!! THERESA's Avatar
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    Very nice.

    ~THERESA~Can I get a hero shake with that, or are you all out?


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