The Sadness of Valentines Day

[phoebe1966]

I think we should spare a thought for those people whom Valentine Day depresses. Yes its fine if we are in happy relationship, but its not the case for everyone and there are lots of very lonely people out there. With Valentines Day rammed down everyones throat all the time, it highlights loneliness and solitude and makes you feel unwanted, unloved, uncared for.

What about those in relationships who still feel lonely. Men who never appreciate their wives or never thank or appreciate their wives. Perhaps wives who dont care about their husbands. How are these people feeling with Valentines Day constantly on the agenda being pushed as a commercial enterprise.

Whether you agree with it or not, and Im not advocating it, but what about the mistresses of this world. Whilst most of us are of the view that mistresses deserve everything they get, are they really just lonely women manipulated by men who want the best of both worlds. How are these mistresses feeling with the knowledge that the cards and flowers and I love yous will be going to the wives!

What about the teenagers of this world who are feeling vulnerable. Maybe they are overweight or maybe they are of normal weight but just made to feel imperfect. Maybe they have spots. How does Valentines Day affect them if they have never received a card.

I personally would be happy to see Valentines Day abolished. If we are in happy relationships then there is no need for a day in which to show this, it should be every day that we are together with someone. We should always be appreciated. Its just a commercial disaster and I think it causes more stress and depression that happiness personally.

so if we are lucky enough to get a card or flowers or anything special, lets spare a thought for those who hate valentines day and will spend the day feeling miserable, unwanted and unloved.

Not that im bitter or anything lol

[Raven]

I get sad on any holiday because my kids do not talk to me. So I wish to see all holidays abolished. I miss my kids everyday. But the holidays make it much worse.

Mr. Raven helps because he is so great.

But the hurt is still buried in me.

Ok kids I give up. What did I do.

I miss you both.

[THERESA]

I think a lot of people have been in a bad relationship where they were unappreciated or treated badly. My girls will always get special Valentines from me. They will always feel loved no matter what their personal situation is.

As for people that aren't going to get what they would like from a significant other, they can always do what my friend Donna and I joke about. It has been a joke of ours for years when she didn't get something they really wanted for Christmas or a Birthday etc., she would buy it for herself and call it a "to me, from me, love me" gift.

Valentines don't have to be just between people in relationships. You exchange cards with parents or children. Buy yourself something really nice. I think Valentine's Day is sweeter when you are in a relationship where you feel truly respected and cared about but I am a firm believer in making the most of it if you aren't. (or you are free to ignore it altogether too)

[phoebe1966]

I know that most of us will make our children feel loved and send them cards and i know that i wont go without tomorrow and I expect many of us wont and I dont know what it is like in the US regarding Valentines Day, but in the UK all the cards are very slushy love related and really appropriate for couples in proper relationships,not really aimed at giving your kids to be honest.

See i dont believe that buying yourself something would help. Yes it may be something youve always wanted but deep down do you think it just heightens the fact that you havent had anythign and that noone is thinking of you apart from yourself.

I can relate to what Raven has said, it is sad.

Even if you try and ignore it, it is everywhere. I dont mind specialised card shops of course,but its in the supermarket, in the jewellers, just everywhere. And I get brochures delivered to my house showing me all the new things i can buy for valentines etc. And companys want us to buy more and more expensive gifts, I really dont agree with it.

Its easy to say yeah Valentines day is great when you are in a good relationship, then we all love it, I too will be smiling tomorrow no doubt, but i also feel sadness.

Its similar to how i feel on New Years Day, dont know why, i get sad then too.

[THERESA]

Here in the US, they have cards for everyone. (to daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, aunts, friends, just about any relationship you can think of)

[Raven]

Spending doesn't help. Sure if you find something you really want it helps. Well not emotionally. But I don't like flowers, I don't like chocolate, I don't like jewelry, give me some technology and I am good to go. I am not a mushy person. I just want someone I care about to acknowledge me. If you want to throw in a new computer, cell phone gadgets, wii products, new software. That is mushy enough for me. Heck I would settle for one of my obnoxious tshirts. Maybe I can get a tshirt that says, YOU FORGOT ANOTHER FREAKING HOLIDAY BITE ME.


On a serious note it hurts but once you bury it so deep the hurt goes numb. That is the sad part. Then it comes out on holidays and feels like it stabs you in the heart. So I usually work harder than usual on holidays.

	Quote:	phoebe1966
	See i dont believe that buying yourself something would help. Yes it may be something youve always wanted but deep down do you think it just heightens the fact that you havent had anythign and that noone is thinking of you apart from yourself. I can relate to what Raven has said, it is sad. Even if you try and ignore it, it is everywhere. I dont mind specialised card shops of course,but its in the supermarket, in the jewellers, just everywhere. And I get brochures delivered to my house showing me all the new things i can buy for valentines etc. And companys want us to buy more and more expensive gifts, I really dont agree with it.

[Sulu]

Some guys are just not romantic or thoughtful. With the $20 note I got I looked at it and said "gee, I'm sure I'll find a picture of a flower on here somewhere". Then I went and had breakfast with a friend of mine.

My daughter gave me a box of chocolates, and my son gave me a flower picked from the garden. That made my day.

Agree with Raven - bury it deep so the hurt goes numb.

[Raven]

My numb is because of my kids.

	Quote:	Sulu
	Agree with Raven - bury it deep so the hurt goes numb.

[Sulu]

	Quote:	Raven
	My numb is because of my kids.

Yes, I know Raven, I didn't mean to lessen that. You are lucky you have a wonderful hubby to support you. Your kids are complete numbnuts.

[Raven]

I know. And thanks for the word numbnuts. I use that word alot in everyday life. I thought I made it up but I guess it is used downunder too.

	Quote:	Sulu
	Yes, I know Raven, I didn't mean to lessen that. You are lucky you have a wonderful hubby to support you. Your kids are complete numbnuts.